The faces behind the stories!

The faces behind the stories!
My little Loves.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

My sweet Matthew...

We went to Bible study tonight. It's the one reason I will keep my boys out past bedtime, because it helps them have a better mom! ha ha ha... As I picked them up from childcare, the sky lit up with lightening. Matthew was NOT a fan! Well, actually, Matthew was pretty clueless until Joe started to freak out and say it was going to get us on the head. ha ha ha

So, poor Matthew started to cry and said, "Mama, I do not want this storm to get me on the head." He was convinced that he was in grave danger and did NOT want to come out from under the awning to get to our car. Finally, I showed him how long it took to hear the thunder after the lightening, and taught him that meant it was FAR away.  Even though he was still reluctant, and I think he thought I was tricking him into submission... he ran to the car!

My sweet boy has been getting up in the middle of the night to turn his light on. He gets back in bed and sleeps with his bedroom light on. I turn it off when I see it, and I gave him a nightlight. It saddens my heart to know he has that fear bothering him. So, we pray before bed and I pray for his sweet dreams and sweet sleep.

Tonight, he said, "Mama, what if the storm gets me?"... I said, "You are safe here, the storm stays outside." He said, "What if the sharks get me?" I said, "There is no ocean here, the sharks can't get you." He said, "No, the ghost sharks." I told him that no ghosts are allowed in our home because we have prayed and the Lord put a big fence of protection all around our home and they have to stay out. He said, "What about talking eye balls?"  SHEESH, no wonder he's turning the light on! ha ha ha

I proceeded to tell him that Dada and I picked this house special because we knew it was the safest house for our family and no bad thing is allowed inside, and Mama is right outside the doors always protecting him. He seemed to be comforted, and then said, "What about talking blankies?"... I said, "Well, those are allowed because they are cozy and you can talk to them about cuddling!" ha ha ha

He's only 3 and I already suffer a hurting heart for his struggles. I pray for him and I hold him and I trust my Lord to comfort him when I can't be right with him. I do not "worry about tomorrow" but when I think about what the future holds for my boys, I want to be strong. Not only that, but I want to dig in to my Savior so He can guide me in parenting so my boys will choose to come to me when the world is too much and they need support... even when it's not "cool" to talk to your parents anymore!

*sigh* G'night all.

The Professional Loser

Romans 8:1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. 

If there is something that I'm thankful for on my journey of health, it is that. I'm so thankful that my God does not scrutinize me based on my sin of gluttony. It is my task to allow the Spirit of Life to win over the sin, but I'm so thankful that He has grace when I'm pummeled. That's typically the truth too. It's not like a eat a tiny bit too much. On the day that I cave, it is in full force and I feel pummeled when it's all said and done.

I find myself, often, torn between transparency and self consciousness. I'd like to find myself transparent in my struggle with weight and health. I think there are enough people in this world who walk in that struggle with me, that I should be an encouragement through my ability to share: THIS IS HARD! There is always that part of me that thinks, "What will they think of me?"... There is this shock when a woman is willing to share her weight, but I find a freedom in honesty and transparency. Does it freak me out to say I was once 265 pounds... yes. That's a heavy MAN, but it was me.

No matter if I'm 265 or 170, I can find myself at such a place of sadness if I feel like I'm failing myself in health. When I'm walking and/or watching what I'm eating, it also doesn't matter the weight; I feel successful. When I am giving an honest effort, I am comforted and strengthened.
In 2008, I weighed 265 in January. On 1/23/08 I decided to change. By the end of the year, I weighed 170 pounds. Some life circumstances hit, and I fell back onto old emotional eating habits. Throughout the next year, I made my way back to 235. Such a sad moment to realize I reversed so many countless work outs and moments of self denial.

A couple of months ago, I went to visit a nutritionist. She told me I was a "Professional Loser." That might sound offensive, but I got a kick out of it. I know how to lose weight, but my struggle is learning to keep it off. I get so strict with myself that I live a life nobody could ever live forever.

So, the picture above was a snack I had with my boys today. It was actually difficult for me to order a donut because I have been SO strict with my eating lately. I'm down to 203 and I am SO EXCITED to be back under 200 again. It's coming soon, but it needs to come healthy. So, all things in moderation. I need to get my brain to understand that a donut is not the end of me. You might chuckle at that, but it's always been "All or nothing" to me. If I have a donut, I'd have 5... if I'm eating healthy, I eat EXACTLY 1200 calories. Too strict equals a sure meltdown which equals discouragement and self condemnation. I MUST grow above that.

I have to add, one more thing I am very thankful for in my journey to health is my husband. This man just loves me. I know that he wants me to be healthy and he wants to enjoy great times together... but, he has never once... NOT ONCE talked down to me because of my weight or said anything that hurt my feelings. Even when I was 265, he treated me the same as when I was 170. That's amazing to me and I love him to death for being my supporter... now, his "Must have sweets at night on the couch"... not so much! LOL (He will wait and eat it after I've gone to bed if I need him to... so, he's still loved!)

In this journey, my boys are seeing my struggle and I am open with them about it. We have talked about how having extra fat on our bodies can have bad affects on our health and energy and all sorts of things. Joe LOVES that I'm walking. He didn't even realize I was walking so much after I dropped him off at school. The other day, when I picked him up in the car, I drove the route that Matthew and I walk after we drop him off. He said, "Wow Mama, you must be getting really un-fat!" HA HA HA... such a proud little statement from him and it made me smile.

I am who I am. Another thing the nutritionist asked me was, "What is your goal weight?" I have always said 155. BUT, I've come to realize it is more like 175. If I were 155, it might be my ultimate perfection weight, but it is not sustainable by ME... when I realize who I am. I will not work out every day of my life and I will not eat perfect every day of my life, so I will stay at a comfortable 175 (when I get there!). It's freeing to realize I can be, not what "perfection" is.

I just wanted to share these things because I know there are others who struggle. I understand. I truly and deeply understand the struggle, the tears, the joys, the PAIN and I'm rooting for you! It's freeing to be honest and there is therefore NO condemnation in Christ Jesus... Don't allow the devil to beat you up over a donut (or 5, or 10)... Do your best where you are and don't be afraid when you fail because we have the rest of our lives to pick ourselves up and start again! ;)

With much love...

The Professional Loser

Matthew's "Man in the Clouds."

After walking Joe to school, Matthew and I have been having some extra time on my extended walk after. Yesterday, he stretched out sideways and stared up at the clouds. All of the sudden he said, "Mama, wook (aka: Look), there is a man drinking milk!"... I started to look and he said, "No, it's over there." As he's looking around and can't find his own creation in the clouds, he said, "Hmmm, he must have flown away!" ha ha ha So cute!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

TENACITY: setting up your Avon booth in the path of moms walking kids to school!

Walking the kids to school today, I saw this woman. On the way to school, there was nobody with her, but she stood proudly behind her Avon table. She was dressed nice, had her table all decorated and I was impressed with her. The word "Tenacity" came to my mind. She is not sitting at home thinking about ways to make money, she is doing something and going past the typical "What will people think of me" fears! That said, I'm not into make-up and I was glad to be on the other side of the street so I didn't have to hear her "pitch"... but, I was impressed by her Tenacity! ;)

Monday, September 27, 2010

The little guy who broke our hearts today.

After last night's Snake shake up, we had a new "pet" this morning. The boys and I opened the garage to start our walk to Joe's school and found this little guy. He was strugglin for breath and looked like he was shivering. My boys' hearts were broken and they wanted to help him. Questions like, "Should we get cheese?" and "What does his kind of milk look like?" and "Oh yeah, he'd have to drink from his mom's back."

I told them, "How bout we leave him right here and I just know his Mama will come get him before we get back?"... and off we went. I tried to call my neighbor to see if they would "take care of him" before we got back... No such luck.  While Matthew was unaware, I picked him up with a paper towel and he started to try to get away and he was squeeking... since when did I turn so soft that I almost CRIED. sheesh!  He was placed somewhere off to the side where the boys wont see, and maybe his Mama really will come get him? I'll just think that way.  Honestly, I wish I had been tough enough for a "mercy kill" but I just couldn't do it.

So, my request of the Lord today is, "No more pets please." =)

Sunday, September 26, 2010

One of "Those" days...

Today started out wonderful.  I feel cheesy using the word "wonderful" like that, but it's really the truth.  My parents were visiting, and sleeping on the guest bed that is in Joe's room. Both of my boys actually SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT with out coming to get me for one reason or another. (That's been a challenge lately and I've been getting up more than I had to with a newborn!) I woke up at 6:15 and actually felt rested, so I got up and started getting ready for CHURCH! I am always so excited to get to church.

Once I was ready, I walked out of my room to hear a LOT of giggling coming from Joe's room. Matthew had gotten up, went in there and turned on the light. The only problem with that is, they were ALL still asleep in that room. ha ha ha Matthew climbed up in bed with Grandma and Pop, as did Joe (who also turned the light back off) and they were having a light show with flashlights. I was an unwelcome guest when I interrupted their fun event! ;)

So, we went to church and had an amazing time... went to lunch with my parents and had fun. I even chose something healthy, which made me proud. (I've been losing weight again... I have come to say that Oprah and I have something in common... I'm constantly going up and down with weight... one day, I'll figure it out. lol)

Then, my parents had to start their drive back up north.  I think that is when things went a bit sour for me. My boys started to get whinny, and although I understood their heart hurt, I just didn't want to hear it anymore. Throw on top of that, Joe got SUPER hyper and just wouldn't listen to anything I had to say with out throwing in his "two-cents." I'm not really sure what the "trigger" was, but I found myself becoming a person I didn't like.

I was short tempered, I yelled, and I was selfish with my time... not giving them the grace and the love that they needed today, because I was having my own funky issue. That was making me so sad.

I got them in the car. I decided we needed to get away from the house... Chick-Fil-A is closed on Sundays and it was 105 outside, so a park was out of the question... McD's playland, here we come. The boys were so excited, but Joe continued to rub me wrong on the way there. I failed at my attempt to redeem the situation and yelled once again. So, I prayed. I turned the radio to a song that would distract my boys from me, I shed a few tears of frustration and disappointment and I prayed. The song came on the radio that said, "All of you is more than enough"... I thanked God that it was true and I decided to praise in the middle of my circumstance... so, I did.

I wish I could say I was miraculously turned into a mom of good character again... but, it continued to be a struggle. The boys enjoyed their McD's time, I enjoyed an ice cream cone and a diet coke... and I was headed towards feeling better and just letting go of the things that were trying so hard to bog me down.

I was patient with Joe and spoke slowly and with a regular tone. I was starting to feel proud again.

Then, it happened. We got home, I opened the garage door and there it was... A SNAKE! He had positioned himself right in front of the only door we could use to get into the house, because the front door had the chain on. *sigh* ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? ha ha ha

I called the police department, who proceeded to tell me they weren't sure if Animal Control would come out, but they would call them. I said, "There is a snake in front of the only usable entrance to my house and I can't tell if it's a Rattle Snake or not, THEY WILL COME!" ha ha ha... I felt myself slipping back into "raging bull" status! ha ha ha

While waiting for Animal Control...the boys were a bit ULTRA SUPER EXTREMELY excited, after all, it was a SNAKE! So, I had to take deep breaths and sip on my diet coke to maintain my composure while they were flipping out and I just wanted to get them in bed! ha ha ha (we all stayed in the car with the lights shining on the snake)

Animal Control came... it was a 3.5-4ft Cal King Snake and we were rescued! The boys got to see it in the bag and the man gave us a quick lesson on which snakes are safe and which are not. It turned out to be a fun adventure for them, but MAN OH MAN was I thankful when I finally got their jammies on, the last tooth brushed and their little booties IN BED!

Now that it's 10:30... I think I am finally done getting them BACK in bed. Joe got up twice, the first time because he couldn't find his flashlight (which is NO reason to get up) and the second because we forgot to pray, "And that is very important Mama."... He was right, but I explained to him that obeying his mama was very important too! lol... Matthew, at 10pm had gotten up and turned his light on and was just checking things out in the hallway. I wish you could have seen his face when he finally realized I was coming up the stairs. =)...

The only problem is... now I need to go to sleep myself so I can wake up and start the morning process with them at 6:15. *sigh* No "downtime" for me tonight... and I so badly felt the need for it.

This might seem like a big complaint... and, in all reality, it is... but, some days it is just "one of Those days" and a girl's just gotta get it off her chest! ;)


Enjoying Homemade Popsickles Today!

Grape Juice popsickles... aka: "Take your shirt off and go outside!"  I have no idea what's up with Matthew's face... he thought he was funny, acting confused.
They both loved their new special treat... I thought they were cool until juice started coming out the straw every time they tipped the things! ha ha ha We had a trial and error 1st attempt with them, and I'm so thankful I made them take their shirts off and go outside for it! ;)

Faith of a Child...

I love seeing faith through my boys. Joe has developed a slight stuffy nose, but it is IRRITATING him to no end. I'll admit, it isn't my favorite thing either, hearing his sniffle all day long. We were at Wendy's with my parents and Joe needed to go potty... so, off we went. As he's, well, taking care of his business, he said, "Mama, we better make sure and pray because I don't want to be sick!"  I said, "We sure will pray!"... Knowing a lady was standing right outside his door doing her make-up at the mirror. Joe was expressing that He knows God would not want him to miss any school, but if he gets more sick he'll have to miss a day. We agreed that we would pray before every nap and every bedtime about it.

Then, on the way home, Joe sniffled and said, "OH NO MAMA, IT IS MORE STUFFY! We better pray RIGHT NOW!"  I said ok and we prayed. I prayed for his healing and for him to be able to breath and not to have to miss any school. He was relieved that I had prayed... but took it a step further and took a really deep breath, fully anticipating a clear breath! I LOVED his faith that he anticipated full healing right away! Plus, his nose sounded pretty much the same, but he said "IT IS GETTING BETTER!! WooHoo!"

When we got home, he got out of the car and took a deep breath. He said, "MAMA, God healed me, watch this" and took another deep breath! I said, "Right on Bud, God is GOOD, give me five!" He gave me five and walked away with a little strut in his step and a smile on his face. =)

I love seeing his faith and I love that the Lord meets him and shines His love on his sweet little heart!

(side note: Sorry to those of you who get e-mails sent automatically when I make a new post... We had my parents in town visiting and I let some stories "Build up" on me for the blog! lol You're getting a few e-mails today! lol)

Some Thoughts from The Mama

I was on the way home from church today. My two boys in the back enjoying time with each other (that's a nice way of saying picking on each other and being too loud etc)... A man's voice came on the radio. He said, "Fear is a selfish thing, it is all about Me."... I've been pondering that since I heard it.

God didn't create us to do our own thing, he created us as a part in his amazing plot.  As long as we're doing the thing He has called us to do, we don't have to fear the result.  We don't have to fear what others will think if we do it. Just give it our all and know that the outcome is just as He had in mind or He wouldn't have commissioned ME for THAT specific task at that specific time. Even if I fail in my own eyes, that failure could be the catapult for amazing things only He knows now.*selah* (My mom taught us when we were young that the "Selah" in the Bible means: Think about it.)
I met a lady this week who fears leaving her house. I met another lady this week who fears failure. I've met myself on so many occasions through out my life... So many times when a fork in the road is before me and I am either disappointed at my response or amazed at how the Lord took me places when I relinquished control and followed His direction. My response to His calls is often met with fear, and it is when I give in to that fear that I feel that disappointment and shame... But, when I stand firm on His promises to never leave me and to give me strength and to be my guide and I move forward in His task for my life... I am ALWAYS, and I mean that word ALWAYS amazed at how He gets past my fears and brings me to victory.
I pray the Lord helps me to grow... and to learn how to shut down my fears faster each time to get to the task at hand and obey the One who will bring me on an amazing journey that will be perfectly His no matter what the outcome looks like to my earthly eyes.
The Mama

Joe: "Why Does God want to get blood all over himself?"

There are so many times that I think, "I need to put that on my blog"...but then 10 minutes later I have already forgotten what the great idea for my blog was and we're on to something else. There is a story, though, that has stuck with me and is totally sharable!

We were in the car the other day and I hear Joe say something about God being everywhere. Matthew says, "No, God is in my heart." Joe tries to tell Matthew that God is in our heart AND everywhere. Matthew WOULD NOT have it! He was sure God was only in his heart! He agreed to accept it once I stepped in and let him know it is infact true. :)

Then, Joe was sitting in thought for a minute and said, "Mama, why does God want to be in my heart if he has to hear *insert a 5yr old's version of a heartbeat sound here* all the time and get all wet with blood?"... I'm sorry, but I couldn't help it, and I laughed. Luckily, Joe finds enjoyment in humor and liked that he was unknowingly funny.

I said, "Well, God doesn't get all wet." He started by saying, "Why" and then (as I was trying to figure out what to do with this one), he said, "Oh, yeah, I know... it's because he's invisible!" ha ha ha

That kid and his brain are just amazing to me sometimes... but, I am glad he is getting smart enough to answer his own difficult questions! ha ha ha

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

My little loves and the man they adore.

They LOVE when their Dada reads to them at night. It's fun, now that Matthew is old enough to sit nicely and listen! Aaron let Joe go into his room and pick a book, so Joe picked the longest one he could find. :)

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Their Favorite Songs!

Ok, so "church day" is also "no-movies-in-the-car-day" at our house. Today, that meant we got to have a great conversation about favorite songs. The radio was on our local Christian radio station and Matthew said, "I hope they play my favorite song." I had no idea he HAD a favorite song, let alone what it was. I asked him, of course. He said, "I only can imagine." In 3yr old lingo that means, "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me. To hear his favorite, click on:

Then, Joe said, "Well my favorite is...Even in the rainbow"... For some reason, I knew exactly what he meant, even though the song says, "Even when the rain falls." lol  To hear Joe's favorite song (which is also one of well as Matthew's song)... click on:  Washed By The Water - NeedtoBreathe

I was blessed to know their little hearts had connected to two amazing songs. For Joe, it was an upbeat sound that really attracted him, but the words to the song are amazing. For Matthew, I'm not sure what attracted him, but I have a feeling it is that I sing with all my guts when that song comes on!

I hope you're blessed by their favorites tonight!

"It's a Rat Moth.".... Matthew.

Ok, so this was a full size brick with a EXTRA HUGE size Moth on it! I was walking along and all of the sudden Matthew ran behind me real quick. He spotted it and he said, "It's a RAT Moth!"  ha ha ha  I have never in my life seen one this big and I don't really want to again!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

My not so great Mama moments...

Ok, so I have had a few requests from people that I be open with my "not so great mama moments." It seems, most of my stories paint me in a picture of the perfect mom... but, the truth is, those are just my favorite moments! ha ha ha Who wants to sit around and ponder over their mess ups? Certainly not me. BUT, for the sake of the requests... I ponder with you.

I've come to realize the bedtime routine is where my good mom role kind of crumbles. No matter how great of a day it's been, by the bedtime routine I am T-I-R-E-D! Sometimes, I allow us to continue with an activity, or stay at someones house a bit later than I probably should, just in avoidance of said routine. =)

So, tonight, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was doing SO GOOD... I spent special time with Matthew in his room... some tickles, some prayers, some loves. I even got a little, "You're the best mom ever!" from his sweet little voice.... Tucked him all in and moved on to Joe's room. Now, Joe... well, he's a bit more tough with the bedtime routine. He's a kid who has to have things the same way, or the way he expects each time or it can very easily lead to a melt down. As I've previously blogged, he always has to stop me, just as I'm about to close his door for one last thing to say... even if there is nothing to say and he has to come up with it real fast! *sigh*... BUT, tonight, I was proud of myself. I gave him love and even stopped to hear his last comment with out any annoyed tone or promise of discipline if he did not be quiet! =)

THEN... I noticed Matthew's door had been re-opened. Now this offense, that little offense is enough to instantly get me frustrated. Should it be that big of a deal, I don't know... but my expectation is: When I close this door, you stay in bed!"... I turned on his light and he was laying on his bed. He said, "Mama, I'd like you to sing me the Sunshine song please?"...

Here's where my evening started to crumble on my "good mom status."

I looked at him and started in, "You are not allowed to get out of your bed when Mama puts you in and closes that door."... I was in the process of giving my shpeel (sp?) and saying no to singing when his bottom lip started to quiver. I thought of Steven Curtis Chapman, who I had listened to earlier in the day, when he shared his wish that he could dance with his little girl (who passed away) one more time.

Here's where "Good mama" comes back into play.

I leaned in to kiss him. I softened my voice, and I started to run my fingers across his forehead... "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray....." His little eyes closed and he melted at my touch. I just wanted to cry.... both from his pure sweetness and from my lack of ability to drop the drill Sargent sometimes and just love on them.

I think I get overwhelmed with being alone with them so often and I stay in Sargent mode almost to protect myself... I can handle it "there." But, what brings me tears is... One day, when they are older, I'm going to want them to desire to come to me when they are hurting, or when they are happy, or when they are bored... when they just want someone who they know loves them and will be kind and tender with their hearts. I'm scared that my drill Sargent ways will push me out of 1st place for that person they desire to run to.

I always hear, "Don't major in the minors" and "pick your battles" and other sayings like that. The struggle for me is, this world has become so laxed in their discipline that I'm surrounded by young adults and children with no respect. I do not want my sons to grow up thinking that is ok, so it's hard for me to pick a battle and not major in the minors. I get nervous that if I let things go, they will digress... So, I stay on top of so much and I am the drill Sargent... sometimes, even with the voice that sounds like one; I'm sad to admit.

So my dear friends who have asked... there you have it. I do believe I am a good mama and I do believe that my boys are great boys and they will grow up knowing expectations as well as love... but, this is a tough job and all I can do is my best... and, on this blog, I will tend to share my fun and victory moments as to not beat myself up by going over my downfalls.... although, I know it is refreshing to hear someone else admit struggle... so, I may just share sometimes too.

Now, after Joe has interrupted me writing this 2 times from getting out of bed, and I promise I have not yelled at him or overreacted... I do need to go make sure he is in bed to stay... whether or not the drill Sargent comes out is entirely up to Joe at this moment! lol


Joe, Tryin to be like Dada...

This is Dada's work... You can see how an arm sticks out of the trailer and holds up the screen...

Well, Joe held this up and showed me where he wanted me to take the pic. "Just start right here on my arm and take a picture, it's just like Dada's screen!"

I'd call him a pretty creative and smart kid... wouldn't you?

The Fort that saved my morning...

I was REALLY hoping my boys would sleep in this morning... as I do just about every saturday morning, but it has yet to happen! This morning was not unlike any other. Matthew came in about 5:55 and said, "I lost my cold blanky"... It's one of those that is silky on one side and fuzzy on the other and the silky part always feels "Cold" to him. I told him it was too early to be up and we walked back to his room. I got him and his cold blanky tucked back into bed.

At 6:23, along came Joe. =) Shortly after that, his little friend had heard his door, and joined us. So, it's saturday morning and I've been up since 5:55. I had told Joe, the night before, that I was not getting out of bed until 7am... and I was stickin to it!

So, he said, "Ok mama" and proceeded to collect goodies to bring into my room. All of the reusable ice packs made their way out of the freezer and into my room and then... the fort. The fort is my friend though, because it captivated both of them and allowed me to just be. So, I laid there while they created until it was PICTURE TIME!

Someone called me a "Documentary Mama" the other day... It almost makes me want to change the name to my blog... I love that! These moments fly by so fast and I already forget so many of them. I would LOVE, when my kids are older and I have a few minutes to myself, to print these moments in a book. I can't even imagine how fun it would be to read through these stories and pictures one day with my grandkids!  Not only THAT, but one day these stories and pictures can bring comfort to my boys, as their kids are doing the very same things!  So, "Documentary Mama" I am!

Friday, September 17, 2010


Joe drew a family picture a little while back. He wrote, "Dada, Mama, Joe" and then he got to Matthew.  He looked at it, and I stood quiet to see what he'd do. All of the sudden, he wrote M  A  F  U and said proudly, "Mafu." =) I just had to make record of that because it was SO incredibly cute to me. Joe gets things right so often, when it happens that he's a bit off... I LOVE IT! So cute! =)

A Friend I Found Today...

As Matthew and I were walking home today, I noticed this little guy. I actually noticed him, kept walking, and then turned back to go get a picture. The scripture I put on the picture is fitting for the picture... but, not actually my original motivation for taking the picture. I wanted a picture of "him" because I wanted to remember that it's ok to slow down sometimes. It's ok to just enjoy the breeze and take my time recognizing all the beauty the Lord has created around me. So, I said, "Lord, thank you for the cool breeze this morning."  Matthew looked at me and said, "Mama, why did you just say that?"... It was a fun time for me in teaching my Matthew how to recognize God's sweetness, and it all started with a slug!


The verse is showing up so small, but this is what it says:
The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
2 Peter 3:9

A nice lady let us hold her kittens!

Another adventure on our way home today! We're walking along and I notice two little kittens in a woman's front yard. I said, "Matthew LOOK!!!"  He's NEVER played with a kitten before. He instantly said, "Awww." The lady was so sweet and told us we could come meet them and hold them. Matthew rubbed his face up on them and just loved every minute! Of course, he wanted to bring one home!... Maybe one day son, but today is not your day! lol

Matthew, I'd like you to say Goodmorning!

As we're walking home from taking Joe to school, we kept passing people. I would say good morning, but Matthew stayed quiet. He's shy, and I understand that... but, I also want to teach him how to get past that in the right moments. So, this lady was further down the hill infront of us and I said, "Matthew, when this lady gets close to us, I'd like you to say Good Morning to her.".... "ok Mama." I thought about moments in my life when I knew something was coming that would push me out of my comfort zone. I was imagining his little mouth swallowing hard and his heart racing just a touch... I wanted a picture to remember his moment of growing through the shyness.  As she got closer, he did say, "Good Morning." Unfortunately, she was not the most happy of a morning person and Matthew didn't get a really fun response, but he felt proud of himself.

Next, came a lady completely across the 4 lane street and Matthew yelled, "GOOD MORNING!"... Luckily, the lady smiled real big and yelled GOOD MORNING back at him. Now, he's unstoppable with his morning cheer! ;)

Pirate Day at School! ;)

This weekend is "National Talk-Like-A-Pirate Day"... So Joe's teacher told all the students to dress as a pirate today. They are going to do all their learning in Pirate fashion today! Matthew, of course, just wanted his turtle costume on... again.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Joe, she is your sister in Christ.

I remembered something I was going to share with my little blog here...

Joe is having a hard time adjusting to school some days. Too much talking, too much talking back, too much not listening to instructions (he always tries to make his own way.)  The teacher is an awesome Christian woman (he's in a public school, but I found her on Facebook before the school year started and saw she was a Christian and requested her for Joe. I knew he'd need someone with patience! lol)

Anyway, before school started today, Aaron and I took some time aside to pray with Joe. When we were done praying, I explained to Joe that Mrs. Cameron is his sister in Christ. "What is that mama?"... I told him that she also has Jesus in her heart and everyone who loves Jesus is a big family with Him. It was a complete new concept to Joe and it intrigued him! ha ha ha  I told him, "You need to respect her as your teacher and follow her instructions, but you also need to know that Jesus is watching to see if you love her as your Sister." WOAH!!!

Turns out... he had a great day today! =) Who knows if the "pep-talk" helped any, but I think it was a great way for him to see that Jesus cares how he treats his teacher too.

My Memory Fails Me...But Matthew is still a Sweetheart.

Deep Breath, the kids are in bed. Most likely one or both of them will get up for some "wapchicks" (chapstick) or from a bad dream... but, they are IN bed for now. I am pretty sure Joe is convinced of the need to stay there because tomorrow is "Dress Like A Pirate Day" at school and I have told him, if he gets up, he'll lose pieces of his Pirate costume! ha ha ha I'm mean.

I know there were at least 3 times today where I thought, "Oh, I should put that on the blog," but at this moment I can't remember them. My memory fails me once again.

I did just have a sweet moment with Matthew... When I was putting him to bed, he got in bed real quick and laid down (he's typically very good about that)... I told him he really needed to get to sleep because we have a big morning getting Joe ready to be a Pirate. He closed his eyes and pretended to already be asleep. As I prayed for him, he was still "asleep"... as I kissed him, asleep...during my hug, asleep... It wasn't until I turned to go out the door that I heard his little voice, "You're the best mom ever." I look back and say thank you...asleep. =)

Hmmm, 15 minutes have passed since I closed the second door and said my goodnights. Maybe they wont get up tonight! There are some nights when I smile at God by the end, when the boys crash out fast, and say, "You really wont give me more than I can handle!" =)  I'm thankful for Matthew's tender heart and my Lord's tender heart to help my sweet boys rest and let me do the same!


Tuesday, September 14, 2010

After School Snuggles! :)

The boys and I were enjoying some after school snuggles. Joe had been playing with my hair and Matthew just has to be touching me. =) My friend Tracy thought it would be good in Black and White, and I have to agree with her, so here that is as well!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Today's color is Orange. Joe asked for Brown tomorrow.

Spongebob Mac n Cheese, Little oranges and a Cheese cracker sandwich with peanut butter! (they each only got one because the other 4 along with a string cheese was my lunch! lol)

I did this mostly because I was making the Mac-n-cheese and had my crackers on hand... I finished my 4th and decided I didn't want the fat and calories of the other two, so I thought I'd share. Then, I realized it was orange and I had JUST put away some oranges that the boys had used to stack up a "building."

Now that I started it, they want to continue! Joe's ideas for "Brown Day" tomorrow are, "Spoonfuls of Peanut Butter, Hot Dogs, Lil Smokies"... I forget what else he said, but he's so into it! Cracks me up. If I jumped into his mind and did things like this that "Get him going" more often, he probably wouldn't get in as much trouble... BUT, it's EXHAUSTING to be like his brain! ha ha ha
(Sorry if the orange is hard to read, I had to do it!) ;)

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Joe's "Behavior Alert!"

*sigh*... Well, my beautifully behaved 5yr old ran away somewhere between my mini-van and Nana and Papa's front door (where we were picking up Matthew). I'm telling you, he is a COMPLETELY different boy when they are together.

We spent time playing at Nana and Papa's for a while, and it got to be 3pm. I decided we'd just skip naps since it was already so late. We do this on occasion (and Joe doesn't nap regularly anyway, but I have him go "rest" in his room for a while)... Well, today, it didn't work! Joe took a stroll through Melt Down City just about every 5 minutes it felt like.

As we got in the car to leave, he was screaming and crying for one reason or another. I drove away with a stern warning, "If your behavior does not change, I will be forced to use discipline to help you get your behavior back to the respectful fun boy I've had the last two days." He continued and he actually let out a whopper of a scream. I instantly pulled over at the very first parking lot. I wont divulge the discipline of choice, but he didn't want to sit back down. ;) ;)

He had LOVED having his booster seat in the "way back" of my minivan and I moved it back to the middle, right behind me. I wanted him to be able to recline as it was OBVIOUS he needed sleep! ha ha ha  That was a devastating blow to him.

BUT, the point of this blog was the fun way we got around to getting his behavior in line after that. The shock of me pulling over and taking care of business made him get out of his freak out mode and start to calm down. From that point, any time he started to tip the scales in the wrong direction, I said, "ALERT, ALERT, BEHAVIOR ALERT!!!"... That made him smile, and he realized he needed to fix it.

The next time he started to sound whinny, I heard him tell himself, "ALERT, ALERT" but kind of quietly as though he only wanted himself to hear it. =) I started to say it and he said, "It's ok Mama, I already alerted myself!" Ha ha ha

I try so hard to stay calm with him. Sometimes I just loose it and yell at him, but I love when we can "recover" those moments of flip out either from him or me with "ALERT, ALERT!" lol

*Deep Breaths*... We'll all survive!

"God will like my hair when I get to Heaven!"...Matthew.

When I cleaned Matthew's face tonight before bed, I used the rag to run through his hair also. He LOVED it all spikey and just kept talkin about not wanting to change his shirt or it'll get messed up. It is hilarious that he loved it spikey because he kept pushing it "flat" ALL DAY LONG! He got mad when Joe had touched his hair earlier, and made it flat again.

So, as we're walking into his room for bed, he said, "Mama... God will like my hair when I get to Heaven too!" =) I said, "God already loves your hair, He can see you right now silly!"  He smiled really big! One more person adoring him instantly, works for him! =) Good night Mr. Handsome Hair. =)

Water Balloon Craze!

My boys LOVE IT when I blow up water balloons for them. Typically, the facination is in the POPPING of the balloons, which is kind of annoying! ha ha ha We have a TON of them, so I allow the insanity as long as they pick up the broken pieces!

This morning, Joe brought me two and asked me to tie them together. I did. He loved it. He brought me two more and asked me to tie them together, I tied all 4 together, He loved it!  I had them all next to each other and he walked out. He came back with them in this shape and said, "Look Mama, it's a bumblebee, but he had a really big nose!" ha ha ha... So, I drew on the balloons and it is Joe's new favorite thing!

Good times.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Our Chuck-E-Cheese Hot Date!

Joe is enjoying his $10 "Airheads" & plastic gun! I am loving the fun memories with my son. :)

The heart of my little prince...

I feel myself needing to make record of a moment I had with Joe earlier today. Joe and I are still getting time just the two of us, as Matthew is getting a nice visit with Nana and Papa. We got to school early this morning, so I went in and did a puzzle with him. As we're doing it, another boy got to class. It was the boy I have earlier blogged about, the one who Joe says "Doesn't know Jesus because he's not kind." Well, that boy was SOOOO excited when Joe said, "Come play with us!" The only problem is, that boy ran up and took almost all the puzzle pieces (It was an ABC's puzzle and Joe and I were taking turns with the letters). Joe looked at me with a disturbed face and I said, "That's ok Joe, we'll share." I stopped the other boy from taking any more and told him to bring his pile to his seat and Joe will have his pile and we'll take turns. It was working... Until Alex showed up. HA HA HA... The other boy said, "No, sorry, we already have our piles." Joe said, "Now, that is not very nice, here Alex you can share some of mine!"


On top of that, he actually gave Alex more than he kept for himself. ha ha ha, I find myself in tears typing this out. Joe is one of my toughest challenges in life because he's just so incredibly intense and "on" all the time. I've struggled with the question "am I a good mom" because of my reactions to his intensity sometimes. I've never wanted something more than being the best mom I can be.  This life is going to be tough for my two princes and I want to equip them for the battles ahead.

It melted my heart to watch my son be loving to the boy who has frustrated him most and to share, even though more than half of what he was playing with had already been taken away.  I could see it hurt him each time it was time for a letter to be put down and it wasn't his turn because the other boys had the letters... but, he still chose to share.

Sorry, this is long... but I'm just having a very proud Mama moment and I'm so thankful for the boys that I've been blessed with and for the Lord taking what I give as a teaching Mama and help it reach their hearts.

Joe's Big Embarrassing Moment!

There is SO MUCH I could say right now about the incredible time I had with Joe yesterday! He woke up and got himself all dressed for school. He walked in to me with a proud face, ready for me to tie his shoes! For our whole walk to school he was a nice guy, the teacher told me he had a great day at school... He was just a great little boy ALL DAY... So, when I picked him up from school (and Nana had Matthew)... We drove straight to Disneyland! =) Our annual passes run out in Oct and I am a full time MOM!!! now, so we wont be buying them again... SOOO, we want to USE THEM UP until they end!

Joe and I had packed our own food and brought his homework. We got there about 12 and rode some rides and had some fun and then took a break to do homework and eat. Joe had fruit snacks and while he was eating them I made him laugh... he had a chunk of fruit snack fall out of his mouth and on to his hand. Now THAT is not the embarrassing part. Before I could hand him a napkin, he said, "EWWWW" and flicked the sticky/wet piece of fruit snack. I hear, "AHHH" next to me from a woman's voice. I look over to see Joe's chunk of fruit snack stuck on her hand! HA HA HA HA... I couldn't help it, I laughed.

Amidst my chuckle I profusely apologized, as did Joe. Luckily, the woman was also a mom of two young boys and handled it pretty well! She said she completely understood and it will probably happen to her sometime! Joe was hiding his face! HA HA HA  THAT doesn't happen very often.

What I thought was sweet... A minute later as Joe was being a gentleman and taking all of our trash to the garbage, he walked by her and said, "I'm really sorry." I didn't ask him to... he just did it. That was a sweet moment for this Mama's heart. =)

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Fun Trick for Wearing THEM OUT!

This is one of the few pictures you will see with the playroom clean! It usually has toys everywhere. That day, Matthew and I had cleaned it all up while Joe was at school. When he got home, he was excited to build this "tower." When it was built, they were in goofy/hyper moods, so I wanted to wear them out. I got a bag of fruit snacks. I sat on the couch next to them and said, "Joe, you need to run around the tower 5 times, counting outloud. When you get to the fifth time, come see Mama and guess which hand is holding a fruit snack!"  So, he did...1....2....3....4....5.... WRONG, "Now you have to do another task, go around 7 times!"... I switched the hand that the fruit snack was in, but he was too smart for that and picked the right one that time! We continued to play that game with each boy taking turns until all the fruit snacks were gone! They were ready to sit down and be more calm! LOL  I felt pretty happy with myself that I had come up wtih a fun way to burn their energy and play with them... instead of just being annoyed at their NEVER ENDING energy! Sometimes I don't do so good with that. =)

My Rockstars

I e-mailed this picture from my phone to the blog a while ago and had intended to tell a funny story with the picture... But, I almost forgot to post it at all. They were SO excited about the glasses they had made in the childcare of church, they HAD TO have a picture, "Like a rockstar Mama." =)

Costco's Newest Greeters!

Well, it's obvious we bought some Nesquick chocolate powder... hence, the stools... But, we also like to eat lunch together at Costco when we go. The line was long and the boys were, well, boys... hyper and getting on my nerves! ha ha ha Just being honest! Sooo, I told them they could move their stools over to the side of the wall near the front of the line and wait for me there. I could see them the whole time and they were just talking their little hearts out to all the people who came through the line. I thought it was pretty cute... and it helped my nerves to calm before I was that person at the front of the line and they were all over ME again! ha ha ha I love that my boys have little hearts that love to love people.

...What bad word Joe?...

Watching a movie with the boys, a character's name is Butch. Joe said "ooo, his name is a bad word!" i was thinking...oh great, what did he learn at school? Lol I asked him, "what bad word bud?" He says "butt." :) THAT was a close one!

Monday, September 6, 2010

Matthew, "Do the spankin thing"

That inevitable time of the evening has come once again... the time when I feel sweet victory soon approaching and they feel sure demise.... BEDTIME! ha ha ha  Tonight, not unlike any others, the boys got back out of bed after I had gotten them IN bed. Joe came down to my office to tell me, "I have a tummy ache." To which I responded, "Of course you do, I just put you in bed. Now take that tummy ache, tuck it back in and tell it to go to sleep and I bet you it will disappear by morning!" Back to bed he went. Soon there after, down comes Matthew. I didn't actually hear what he said, but he thought he was being funny. I used that good ole scary mom tone to let him know he was surely NOT funny. Off he went.

Then, to my dismay, I hear running above me in our two story home. Part of me wants to smile because it's quite comical that they don't realize yet that I hear this when they do it... and part of me needs to take deep breaths as to not "over-punish."

I got upstairs and calmly grab my wooden spoon (for those of you who do not use them, don't even start with me! ha ha ha I do not spare the rod and spoil the child because I am raising Godly young men who will understand boundaries, rules and respect... ok, moving on now!)... Anyway, I grabbed it and sat down on the two steps leading to my bedroom. I said, "Matthew, please come here." He stood next to me and said, "Do the spanking thing mama."

For the life of me, I did not know what he was talking about. I had the spoon in my hand, that was the only "Spanking thing" I could think of. I asked him, "What do you mean?"... He said, "you know, the spanking there, where you talk to me and tell me what is wrong and THEN do the spanking." ha ha ha ha... He needs the tender parts to go along with the tough parts. So, I explained to him (again, since I actually already had) why he was getting a spankin, he got his spankin... and then we proceeded in the other tender part for our kiss and hug before he got himself back in bed.  I thought that was sweet.

Joe just started into promises! LOL Mama, please show mercy and I promise I will never.... yadda yadda yadda!! ha ha ha... I will be shocked if he is not an attorney when he grows up! Hmmm, just thought, maybe a pastor... they both give a persuasive argument and propel change!

And now, as I hear little feet still pouncing upstairs... I must go get them BACK in bed again. I try to give them a little bit of time to "get it out of their systems" and pretend I don't hear... sometimes they just get back in bed on their own. Tonight, it seems Matthew needs more "tender and tough" from Mama.

G'night all.

Moments with Joe!

Each night when I put Joe to bed, he always says, "Wait a minute Mama, I have one more thing to say to you." Some nights I can tell he ALMOST forgets and I am just about out the door and he yells that real quick... but then, it hits him like a ton of bricks, he has to come up with something to say! ha ha ha

Last night, he had actually been pondering his "last statement" long before I walked out... but, it was still just as odd of a thought to hear... Joe said, "Mama, I wish an angel would fly over our table and fall, and die, so we can eat Angel Cake."


He thinks Angel Food Cake is really made out of Angels, so he assumed we had to have one die for that special treat!  Seriously cracked me up.


This morning, when Joe woke up, he started telling me about his dream. I could not possibly remember all the details, but there was one thing that struck me funny. He mentioned getting into his seat in the car. I said, "Did you buckle your seatbelt?"... He said, "Hmmm, actually, I don't remember really SEEING my seat." I knew in that moment that he was really telling the truth (he has a tendency to make up stories)... The way he thought about it, I knew he had really dreamed all that because I know there are times in dreams when I just know something is happening, but I can't actually see it. That was a fun moment for me.


The picture on this post is from the day of our "Dada Haircut." Joe was CONVINCED that he needed a haircut just like Aaron's. He loves to "Fuzz" Aaron's hair when he's home, and he's out of town for work right now... So, Joe told me, "Ok Mama, it's time for my Dada haircut because I miss him and I want to fuzz my hair to remind me of Dada." So, we went... BUT, Joe's hair is different than Dada's. Aaron's hair tends to kind of poof out and grows out of his head sticking straight up... So, super short hair works on him. With Joe, his hair is thicker, and it grows going down already. So, when you cut it super short, it looks like he doesn't HAVE ANY hair! I asked the lady to cut it pretty short and see how far I could handle going! lol It is as you see and Joe was UNHAPPY because it did not stick up like Dada's and it was not fuzzy like Dada's. I would not allow her to go shorter, as much as he begged! lol... I had him touch my hair and explained to him that he has some of me and some of Dada in him, so it'll never be exactly the same..... So, by the end of the day, he found a spot in the front "that is just like Dada's!" All is well with the world again!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Matthew: "I wanna be a teacher at Target!"

When Dada is out of town, the boys LOVE lunch at Target. =) (That is my bashful smile...its cheap and there are lots of people to watch!)...anyway...

We were sitting here and Matthew said, "When I grow up, I want to be a teacher at Target so I can go behind there!" As he pointed behind the food counter. 

Joe said, "Matthew, those are not teachers, those are waitors, hmm or maybe we could call them FOODERS since they just give us food at the counter."
This Mama has so many fun moments hearing their little minds at work!!!

Saturday, September 4, 2010

I'll do the Hard work Mama!

"Since i love you so much, i took the doodoodoodoo off, put it in the trash and took the wrapper off and put it in the trash and put the new roll on for you, because i dont want you to have to do the hard work."

(The "Doodoodoodoo" is the core of the toilet paper roll... ever since he was little we have called it that because Nana put it up to her lips and used it like a trumpet with the "Doodoodoodoo" singing)

"Boys dont need rest"

I have been up way too late a few nights this week, so I was really hoping the boys would sleep in this morning. Well, they didn't. At 6:15, a cute little face was next to my bed. I said, "Mama works really hard taking care of you and I need some extra rest."  Matthew says, as he's walking away disappointed,
"Boys don't need rest."

Friday, September 3, 2010

"I Don't Want You To Go To School Jojo."

We had a sweet brother moment on our way to school today. Matthew looked over at Joe and said, "Are we taking you to school Jojo?"... Joe told him we were. Matthew says, "I don't want you to go to school today Jojo." Joe put his arm around Matthew and said, "It's ok Matthew, I need to go to school so I can learn... and I will learn how to read, so I can come home and read you stories pretty soon!"

That was an especially sweet moment for this mama because these two boys have really not been good playmates until very recently. They still fight and Matthew's defense mechanism is still yelling and Joe still thinks that hilarious... BUT, there are times when I just hear little giggles and see moments of hugs like this. =)

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Mama Needs a Pedi with her Pals

It hit me... AARON WILL BE HOME IN A COUPLE OF HOURS!!!... I needed a pedicure. I am not even talking "want"... it was a NEED! ha ha ha. I called one friend who lives close, but she had plans. I decided to be brave. Afterall, it's the middle of the day in the middle of the week, how busy would the place be REALLY?

So, I stopped and grabbed the boys a cheeseburger (plain, always plain) and a smoothy. My little pals came with me to get my pedicure! They both sat nicely in the waiting area eating their lunches, and then they were done. What now? ha ha ha  Luckily, the place really wasn't busy and they had extra short chairs for little watching eyes.

I am blessed. My boys listened, they were kind, they tried to talk to the ladies who worked there, and they were good. Mama's toes are cute for Dada and Joe even got a flower on one of his fingers! =)  I took this picture while they were watching me and I just had to share it... because IT IS CUTE! =)