When Donny Died...Joe's heart.

My Cousin Donny... I have to put in writing the connection my son felt to him and his responses when Donny went to be with the Lord.

So, for those of you who do not know... My cousin Donny passed away in March of this year. He had fought a really long and tough battle with cancer and other complications that followed cancer.

While he was sick, we prayed for him as a part of our nightly prayers with Joe. If ever we forgot, Joe reminded us... each and every night. We would be out and about town, Joe would see something and say, "I wonder if Donny would like that?" He felt so incredibly connected and passionate towards Donny. I saw a burden on my 4yr old that amazed me.

He asked me, "Mama, can I just pray that Donny will be healed?"... Of course, I said, "YES!"

 My boy wanted to pray and IT TO BE DONE.

 I find myself with watery eyes as I even type that.

We prayed, Joe prayed that Donny would "Just be healed."

After that, Joe wanted to GO SEE Donny.

He wanted to see him healed.

Well, We went to visit. Donny was in a bed in the livingroom at this point and Joe was UPSET! He saw a stash of candy next to the bed. He told me, "Mama, the prayers for Donny to get better can't work if all he eats is CANDY!" ha ha ha I explained to Joe that Donny had a hard time eating and those were things he really enjoyed to help him feel better. I made up a story that Donny's teeth wouldn't decay because he had special protection toothpaste! LOL (Joe was extremely concerned about Decay at the time!)

We left there and Joe was a bit upset. Donny had not been healed... So, our prayers continued. We explained to Joe that God has his own timing and His own way and we're blessed to know we can trust Him in all things.

That day in March came. I remember my husband handing me the phone while I stood in the kitchen. I remember hearing my mom's voice and knowing this was not good. I remember my heart breaking and my eyes instantly dripping... Then it hit me, "We have to tell Joe." I was broken and strong all at the same time.

We all sat at the table together as a family... I said, "Hey Joe, you know how we've been praying for cousin Donny to get better?"... He said, "Mama, did he die?" (*excuse me while I get a tissue*)...I said, "Yes Buddy, he went to be in Heaven with God." 

Joe said, (and this was what I was afraid of...) "Mama, why didn't my prayer work?"

Broken...but Strong... I answered.

"Buddy, sometimes here on this earth, our bodies just can't handle the pains and sicknesses that come. When we prayed for Donny to be healed, God heard us and He agreed that it was time for Donny to be COMPLETELY HEALED... So, he took him away from this earth where our bodies are weak, and he brought him to Heaven where he could give him a COMPLETELY HEALED STRONG NEW BODY."

Joe Smiled.

It was almost visible. The weight that my little guy, who had just turned 5 had carried on those tiny little shoulders... the burden for prayer. It was lifted. Joe Smiled... he got it. He knew what I was saying and he was happy for Donny.

In that moment, I wished I could have a childlike heart to let go of my burden and just smile that Donny had received that new strong body. It was hard not to cry in that moment, but I wanted to show Joe that his feelings were right in letting go and smiling, so I smiled with him.

A few minutes later he said, "OH MAN!"... I was like, "Great, what now?" LOL... He said, "Donny gets to know all the answers first!"... ha ha ha, you see, Joe (as most kids) asks a TON of questions and I always tell him to write it on the list in his brain to ask God when he gets to heaven. =) He was jealous of Donny.

Then Joe said, "Mama, if Heaven is such a great place, why don't we all go there now?"... So, I had to explain "our job" while we're here on earth... and how we'll all get our turn to go to Heaven eventually as long as we always love the Lord and keep Him first in our hearts.

Then, a bit later, Joe said, "Mama, can we pray for something new?"... I said, "Sure bud, what do you want to pray for?"... He said, "Can we please pray that God would save the mansion next to Donny's for me?"... I smiled, from deep in my heart at my little boy and told him I'd love to pray that with him! We talk about how the Lord is building a mansion for us in Heaven and Joe is facinated by guessing what his will have in it. =)

I sit with a wet face now... Thankful I've taken the opportunity to write all of this down... I don't ever want to forget.  I should also say... Joe told me later, when he found me crying, "Mama, I'm not sad, Donny is in Heaven and that is where he belongs."

Your right my sweet boy... and I'm so blessed.