*sigh*
Well, I guess I feel a bit of frustration and disappointment with the world my boys have to grow up in. Yesterday, as we were leaving church, we encountered somebody with behavior that pushed me to have to explain a sad truth to Joe. This man stretched his head out of his window and yelled at the top of his lungs, "TURN YOUR BRIGHTS OFF YOU IDIOT." and then proceeded to flip the car off behind him (when in reality, his car was low and their car was high so I am not even convinced the brights were on)... I was mortified by the behavior Joe sat there and watched and heard. The saddest part was, when he drove away, there was a shinny little silver fish on the back of his car. My heart broke on so many levels.
Today, after I picked Joe up from kindergarten, we went to Costco. We're sitting in the foodcourt, enjoying our lunch when I hear VERY angry yelling at the top of the lungs obscenities coming from a man sitting just behind me and to my right. I was instantly overcome by "OH MY GOODNESS WE ARE ABOUT TO WITNESS A FIGHT." and I hovered like a mama chicken around my boys... The man was using the F word and racist names and others... I'm mortified that my boys are sitting there in that moment. I look back and the man is starting to walk away from where we are, still yelling those words. In this case, the man was not a bad man, he just had autism and turrets syndrome. His poor mom apologized really quickly and ran after him. I'm not sure which of us were more mortified as mothers, my heart broke for her sweet face and the embarrassment she felt... and for the man.
I sat there. I'd love to see a picture of what my face looked like at that moment. Joe says, "Mama was does......... mean?" *sigh*.... Luckily, he repeated the "bad words" incorrectly, so atleast I know he's not going to be saying them... but I had to sit and explain to him that the man was sick and those are bad words. He wanted to know what they meant and more explanation. I was stern in telling him it was not for young boys to learn and it was nothing that he will ever need in our household. =) (btw, Matthew was just kind of standing there, in a daze.)
I just felt a bit overwhelmed today by all that we will have to battle as we raise our boys. This world is truly a sad reality and if I ever do anything right in this life, I want to raise these two boys to be WORLD SHAKERS... I want them to learn from a very young age that they are to be different. I pray that the Lord reaches into their lives and has experiences with them that they WILL NOT be able to shake from their hearts or their memory.
I feel for Mary today. I'm not sure at what point Jesus being a baby and needing her guidance and direction stopped and the God part of him kicked in for the cause of his life... But, I can't imagine being her as he was 3 and 5 and knowing the pain he'd have to endure to change the world. I can't imagine being Mary and watching Jesus as he admired Joseph and wanted to be like him. I can't imagine her heart as she wanted to protect him and keep him from all harm, but knew at her core he was born for a cause.
My sons may not be Christ in the flesh, but their flesh will be filled with Christ... and I have to be willing to see their pain from this sinful life in order to see them rescue souls to Heaven.
Excuse me while I go hold them and enjoy the little things with my little loves...
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