I'm so Thankful...

As this year comes to an end, and I know my 2010 "Blog Book" will be printed... I can't end it with out sharing my heart of thankfulness.

This year has not been an easy one. I started the year, still employed by Nebo Tools. I was making 50-100 calls a day, trying to sell flashlights to people around the country. That job alone is not easy, but throw in a then 4 and 2 year old and I was almost in tears each night with the pressure. Aaron had told me to quit, but I just felt the need to help provide financially so I held on and held on. I began to pray more about if I should quit or not. I knew, in the deepest part of my heart, I should...but I was scared. I went to my Mom's group: Mom2Mom at Crossroads Church and heard some older women talk to the group of us young moms. One lady said, "If you feel like you should be home, pray about it...If you STILL feel like you should be home, trust God." WOW... I hadn't realized until that very second that I wasn't trusting God with this matter and with our family's income. My heart was broken, and I called my manager on the way home from the meeting and quit. Right there, on the spot. She asked me, "When do you want to be done?"  I said, "NOW!" ha ha ha (and that wasn't a burden to the company, and I did help tie up any loose ends, just to be clear.) Occasionally I still get a call from a store who is trying to order... and I pass that on with a smile, knowing it'll make the day of the girl who now has my database and is making her 50-100 calls a day!

When I quit, the Lord DID provide. I quit in May, and we almost didn't even SEE Aaron from then until November because of all the work he had. That was something I had to learn to be thankful for. My now 5 and 3 year olds are still not a walk in the park, even though I don't have a ton of calls to make! ha ha ha It's been a process for me to learn to be thankful when Aaron is out of town for work. I am, though, thankful when we are blessed with income, especially in this economy.

This year, my family had to say goodbye to Donny, which was one of the first blogs I wrote. That was heart wrenching and still brings me to uncontrollable wet eyes just at the thought of him. I've also had to learn to be thankful there. I'm thankful Donny is out of pain and helping the Lord to prepare the best place for the rest of my family who join him. If there were one family member who would do that job best, it IS after all, Donny. I'm thankful, before he went to be with Jesus, he poured his knowledge of nutrition into me and I'm so thankful for that... and I'll be even more thankful when I use it! ;) Having to let go of Donny on this earth REALLY helped me to be thankful for my boys. To be thankful for their health, and to try to grow as a mom and build them up as young men.

I sit here now, with a month of financial struggle, not so much work, and little things all over the place seeming to break all at once. Aaron and I talked about how little things are probably always breaking, but when the work is good the little things don't matter so much... you just fix them. It's these months when work hasn't come, that the little things build up and I struggle not to fear how it will all get taken care of. Our dryer broke (praise the Lord, Aaron took it apart and fixed it after buying a $20 part!), my windshield has a pretty bad crack (but praise the Lord it's on the passenger side and can wait), my blender just stopped working and I make the boys smoothies all the time (but praise the Lord Costco took it back even though I don't even REMEMBER when we bought it, and I was able to get a new one!), the driver's side window rolled down the other day, but then it wouldn't roll up (but Praise the Lord Aaron took it apart, figured out what was broke and we have the new part...$50 instead of the $35-450 the dealership wanted)... You can see all the little things that have built up, and that's not even all of them for this month... BUT PRAISE THE LORD that they have because I'm getting to see Him come through for us with blessings from others and giving Aaron the wisdom to know how to tackle some of the problems on his own.

This is just not an "easy" time (if those even exist)... but I just wanted to express that I'm SO THANKFUL! I'm so thankful when times are hard because it brings us to our knees and we get to feel the strength of our Father picking us up again.  I love the song, "God will make a way, when there seems to be no way. No matter what you're going through, God will make a way for you."... IT IS TRUE!!!

For anyone who may have actually read this far on this particular blog... thank you. I'm blessed with compassionate friends and a family that is so steadfast I have no doubt they are with me. God will make a way and my eyes fill with tears in knowing, that is true... no question about it, and I'm just so thankful.

I pray your family is blessed with an amazing Christmas this 2010 year, and that all of our eyes are opened to His way and His heart for our lives and our moments in time.... Nicole