This week, I had a fun time with Matthew in the car. The windows were down and he said, "Mama, can I roll the windows up to ask you something?" I smiled and said, "It's ok to just ask me, you don't have to roll them up." He said, "What does K-s-s-i-n-g spell?" I said, "Well, KISSING spells Kissing, why did you want to know... WHO are you KISSING?" He said, with a soft tender voice, "Only you Mama." Awww. The best part is, it's true. He wont give kisses to anyone else, and I think it's the cutest thing ever. Not his Grandma, not his Nana... just me. I told him, "That's RIGHT, and it better STAY that way MR!" ha ha
This year has been... hmmmm, trying to think of the words, while hearing my boys and their dad search for the tv remote in the other room and Matthew still needing to get dressed from his shower. This year has been like many others. It's had it's ups, it's had it's downs, but my overall grasp on what I feel is... I feel thankful that through this life and the flow of the ups and downs, I'm in love with a man who walks along side of me and we face things together. I'm thankful for the love that is constant in our home, and the strength that we find in the Lord to go after what He has for us in the midst of this crazy life.
My boys are growing... A LOT right now. They are both "thick" as they prepare for more height to come. I'm afraid 2013 was the last year that I will end with "two little guys." Joe is really turning into a big guy in so many ways. I'm no longer allowed in the bathroom, or in his room while he's getting dressed. We have purchased his first thing of deodorant and have had to talk about showers every day instead of every other. Matthew will still walk through the house absolutely naked and lovin it, and doesn't mind if I am in the bathroom while he's using it or any other time. In that sense, he is still "little." He tends to follow closely after Joe, though, so I'm sure I'll be kicked out soon.
This year has been one with some personal challenges... some things we've had to face, but I didn't want to put in my blog. It's tough for me because I am very "open book" for the most part, but I have to protect "the book" of my boys. Joe has faced some difficulties this year, of which I have not shared much. He has been a REAL trooper, brave, strong, and obedient to follow what was asked of him. Aaron and I have done our best to try to help him in the best way we know how, always starting with prayer. It's tough for me because I actually want to write out some of the road we've walked... but I'll leave this be and just say this: Joe, I'm proud of you as this year ends. I'm so thankful we are all learning and growing together, and we will always make sure you have what you need to help you succeed and grow into the boy and eventually man that God intends you to be! I love you, and I know sometimes things are just TOUGH... this darn life gives us those twists and turns that are not easy, but it leads us to our knees where we will ALWAYS find the Lord and His peace as we seek Him. Remember, no matter what challenges you face, when things just feel wrong or you feel alone... Bend your knees and raise your eyes (and for me, I raise my hands too because that act of surrender helps my heart to know I AM GIVING IT UP! [not giving up])... The Lord is with you and will NEVER leave you! I hope and pray I am always around for you to come to... but I am doing my best to help you grow in your walk with the Lord so I can have peace in knowing YOU will always know where to turn, no matter if I'm there to talk to or not! I love you son and I'm looking forward to our adventures in 2014.
Matthew... you are still such a tender heart. You're turning into a bit more of a loud mouth though. HA HA... You're coming out of your shell and you're QUITE talkative all of the sudden. You still love to cuddle, and I wonder if you always will. I'm SO curious what these next few years will bring with you, because I can see you going both ways.... staying this tender cuddler, or giving that up to "be big" type of thing. Either way, as I told Joe... my prayer is that you never hide the part of your heart that is tender to the Lord. You will get bigger and you will get "manly"... but no matter how old or big or strong you get... leave that tender connection available to the Lord... that is the one single thing that will always help you to be the strongest and best man you can be. I love you and I am so proud of you also.
Aaron... I'm not sure that you'll ever read this. :) The blog is "my thing"... but, part of my thing is loving to know I have expressed what I feel. This year has been..... again, just like before, searching for my words... I don't have words for this year. Mostly because it's been really tough, but I don't want to be a whinny baby. lol I know, with out doubt, God is in control and we are blessed... but, I'd say we've been on a tough stretch on this road of life. It sounds like a dumb card or something... but I think my raw feelings/thoughts are a bit too raw for my blog! LOL I love that I know, you know how I feel... because we don't hide that from each other in our daily life. I'm praying for you in this time of our lives, and I'm excited to watch where God leads you and our family. It's never boring eh? ;)
If any of my readers are still with me... thanks. :) I always love the comments, and I love knowing our family stories and my goofy times with the boys brighten your days. I'm kind of glad this year is wrapping up because it has been kind of a tough one... and I'm praying for us, and for ya'll that 2014 is an amazing year! No matter what it holds, I plan to give it a smile and keep on truckin!
God Bless... thanks for sharing 2013 with me! I'll end the blog year with some photos of Joe... He was helping me to set up my photo booth for a Christmas party I was shooting...
Nicole
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