Field Trip with Matthew...

I had so much fun going on a field trip with Matthew's class today to the Lawrence Hall of Science! They got to visit a planetarium, see lots of crazy bugs, test out experiments, and make their own SLIME! ha ha ha Here's some photos from our fun:

A Heart Leaf

Joe is an observer. He found this heart shaped leaf on the ground for me. :)

My morning thoughts.

Being a parent is both heart warming and heart breaking, sometimes all within a minute's time. Finding a balance to help each child reach their greatest potential is not for the faint of heart. Keeping the confidence of their individual struggles can be so isolating. I dreamt of motherhood my whole young life, it's kind of like a mom of older kids telling a toddler mom "enjoy this time, it passes so fast..." That toddler mom has an internal laugh attack and hopes no more hair falls out from stress. Lol I would have NEVER believed being a mom would be quite this difficult... Lord, please help me rise to the occasion of the lives you've trusted us with.

Taking Responsibility

Aaron and I were woken up this morning in an all too common way... Boys fighting. Ugh "He took..." "He hit...." Ugh

I've engaged a new tactic. The "Taking Responsibility" chart. 

They both had to sit at the table and quietly fill it out. Each of them thought they were done without really taking responsibility, so it was edited a couple of times. I then had them read it to each other and quietly listen to each other, then apologize. 

Once they had apologized, I had them each crumple up their paper as hard as they could. Once crumpled, I asked them to flatten it back out... Of course, they couldn't. I shared with them, "even though we apologize and forgive each other, our hearts hold the wrinkles from being hurt." 

We were excused from the table with an agreement to try harder not to cause wrinkles... And a promise from me to them that we'd be right back there with new forms if I heard fighting. :)

SVT & ME.... no more!

The day has come... it's time for me to pack up and head to the hotel so I can wake up in the morning and go have my Catheter Ablation procedure.  I've had a lot of people ask me about the specifics of my condition and the specifics of the procedure... I thought I'd write it out here...

The way the specialist explained SVT to me made the most sense in my head... "Everyone has an electrical highway in their heart. We all have exits where the electrical current travels. Your heart has created one or more extra exits, and when the current goes there... it gets stuck, unable to complete it's normal loop."  When that happens, my heart rate goes above 250 beats per minute, I feel light headed, my chest feels "funny," it gets a bit tighter to breath and eventually other things start to hurt if the episode lasts too long.  I can cough, I can "bare down", I can put my face in a bowl of ice water... those things are supposed to make my heart get back in line. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. When it doesn't, and the episode continues too long, or I start to feel bad etc... I have had to go to the hospital. They have a medicine called Adenosine (sp?) that stops my heart for just a second and allows it to start back up in a healthy rhythm. I'm told I'm lucky to have this condition in today's day... "back in the day" I would have had to get "paddled" each time. Ouch! ha ha

So... the procedure....

The dr will insert a catheter into my groin area. The catheter has a camera that they get up into my heart and then induce an episode. While the episode is happening, they are able to see where my "extra exits" are. They then use a catheter to cauterize the bad exits and leave only the good one(s) intact. (I've never asked how many healthy exits there are! lol)

Concerns during the procedure:
If the Dr accidentally cauterizes the highway as he's taking care of the bad exits... I could end up with a pace maker. The chances are 1/200... when he first told me that, my eyes welled up with tears. I had a vision of my church (which I can see 200 people in), and it just wasn't enough odds! ha ha I'm thinking, "If I knew one person in the room was about to get zapped with a pace maker... I'd run!" ha ha  As I got a bit emotional, Aaron said, "Nicole, that is only 1/2 of a percent." Then, I was fine. It's all in the presentation! ha ha

I've been blessed with a lot of awesome clients who have kept me busy and kept my mind from having too much time to wonder.  I can say I haven't had too many "moments" concerning this... I've had some, and I just limit myself to say a good 5 minute cry! Then it's time to move on. :)

For my boys... you bless me. Your concern shows your love, and I pray I've done well explaining to you and helping you to know only God can take me out of this world. :) Joe, you asked me, "Mama, what if the Dr's mess up and you die?"... I'll tell you, my eyes really WANTED to cry at that moment, but my "Mama hat" was on. I told you then, "Well, we're on this earth to do a job and only God knows when our job is all done." I looked at you up and down with a funny face and said, "Do YOU think my job here is done?" We both had a good giggle and it looked like the weight you had packed on your shoulders was lifted. Matthew, you've just needed a few extra "Kisses & Hugs" and you did ask what would happen if they couldn't fix it... I'm praying for you both today that the Lord would overwhelm you with His peace, that your behavior would SHOCK everyone (in a good way) that is around you today... and that you'd find many reasons to giggle over the next couple of days. I love you, and I'm very much looking forward to life with out heart episodes to enjoy with you and Dad!

Thank you to everyone who has come alongside me and my family over these past 5-6 years of SVT. With each episode, I have had people there to get me to the hospital, to watch my boys etc etc... It's been such a blessing. I'm looking forward to an entry that shares the success of my procedure... and an entry next year that confirms NO MORE episodes!! Praise the Lord!

Off I go.....

Keeping them busy....

While on a drive with the boys, having heard just a bit too much arguing and "stop it, no you stop it"... I came up with a plan to keep them busy.

Me: HEY GUYS!!!!

"what Mama?"

Me: Did you know it's impossible for you to lick your elbow?

(photos taken while stopped)

I need to write a book: Creative Parenting. HA HA HA!

Electric v.s. Wind Guitars

"Hey Mama?"
Yes Matthew
"Well, you know I always was thinking I should really have an electric guitar (said Kitar), but then I was thinking that would be a lot of money and I already have that green Kitar." (the green one is a child size acoustic)
Yes....
"So, well I was thinking that maybe I'll play my wind kitar until I'm about 18 and then I'll buy myself the electric kitar."
Sounds like a good plan buddy.

I love "Wind Guitar." I love that he knows he'll need to be 18 to afford the electric! LOL

Visiting Meme

We love when we get an opportunity to visit with Meme! I had Christina's kids with me, and we all went and had a great visit.

I Love Him

It's always amazing to me when I look back at childhood and think of how easy life seemed. There needed to be a slow reality check that started earlier, to let us know... Life is just not peaches and cream all the time.

The truth for me now, as an adult in a tough world, I have God...and that is a truth that keeps me looking forward and believing for great things in a world that continues to decline. Another truth that centers me and makes me want to "do my thang" each day... is this man. It's these images, the goofy, the love, the laughs, the fun... he's my safe place, and he is my partner. I don't always know why things happen, or how we'll make it through them... but I know it will be together and I'm so thankful God has blessed me with that truth.

I love you Aaron. I love your strength of character, I love that you're just the right size for a perfect hug (which I had prayed for when I would tell God what I wanted in a husband), I love that I can make you smile when you don't want to, I love that I can trust you, I love knowing you are praying for our family, I love so much... I just love that you're mine and I can kiss that cheek (whether you like it or not) WHENEVER I WANT!! ha ha

Thank you for all of your hard work in 2014 baby... Thank you for believing in my business, and helping me to create my spaces and not questioning my purchases for the business. ;) Let's continue that trend! ha ha

Happy New Year... I wish you were home!

My Co-Sleeper

The only times my boys are ever allowed to sleep in my bed is when their dad is out of town. ;) Aaron took Joe with him to Southern CA, so Matthew has been my co-sleeper! If you look close at the lower photo, you'll see SILLY PUTTY in his hand! Ack! I didn't notice it until after I took the pic! I had to get it off of Dad's sheets! ha ha He is a very sweet little man, and has rubbed my back in the morning. I love his tenderness.